I guess I'm learning some valuable lessons about myself, my life, my attitudes to other people, and my future (prepare yourself for this! haha). Here are three of them!
- Never, ever, lose sight of your dreams and who you really are. That sounds so cheesy but I am telling you now do not dismiss it. Because it is crucial. Not that you know me, but I do not really talk about this kind of thing... so yeah, I'm really being serious haha. Dismissing these things has been a genuinely huge mistake of mine. Never get too comfortable in any situation. Things change and you have to be prepared for that. Even if you aren't prepared for it, no matter what, you have to make sure that at the end of the day, YOU are there for you. YOU should be the most important thing in your life. If you are not, or you feel like you are putting other people first, you are leaving yourself totally vulnerable.
- The above applies to all of your relationships. I felt that I already 'knew' this in terms of people I didn't care about that much, but all the while I had completely taken for granted my relationships with people closer to me. I've spent the past few months trying to be someone I'm not, thinking I will have a better life and I will have better relationships. Fucking no! No! Mistake! It does not work! Never try to be anyone other than you. Never alter your personality for the sake of keeping someone around. Because any relationship produced from that is just not real. All that happens is that you come out of it realising that you never even knew each other. Just be 100% yourself, because if you have to suppress any part of your amazing self for someone, that person is probably not as amazing as you are haha
- Thinking you need to be different is really just down to you feeling dissatisfied with yourself in other ways. This is a problem I definitely have. If I feel bad about myself, I will sometimes try to make myself feel better in ways that do not do anything to address the actual problem e.g. seeking the approval of others, trying to maintain a relationship that you know is not ultimately what you want. But at the end of the day, you will never be happy unless you reach your own standards.
But anyway, above all, everything has just reminded me of how awesome I am. SO, I'm celebrating. On this blog. Even if it's not very good, even if I update like once a month, it's my creation. I'm fond of it. Yay!
If anyone wants to talk, email me. I'm in the mood for talking nowadays haha.
Here are some photos!
Sry this is very instagrammy. I cut my hair! I had actually been vaguely considering it for ages and it only ended up happening when I spontaneously decided to cut off my split ends and it ended up like this. Tears were shed. But then I realised it looked better with hats and I got over it. YEAH! Apparently 'long bobs' are trendy nowadays anyway... so maybe I just got cooler.
We went to Leeds last weekend to stay with my Aunt and Uncle. They lived in a really beautiful area, I'm sad I didn't get more pictures! Anyway, it was just nice to see family and be in a real house in a real city.
Leeds has so many pretty shopping arcades. SO nice. They remind me of the QVB, only better looking haha.
They also have American Apparel hoho. Not sure why Newcastle doesn't have one but there you go.
We didn't just window shop though. We also went to the wonderful museum. I didn't take that many pictures haha, but when you're in a museum you just want to look around. We didn't get to go to the Art Gallery in the end but... I can at least tell you the building looks amazing.
Haha the children in the background. MY OUTFIT on one of the days. Jacket from Vivilli.com!
And finally, communal reading glasses in The Reliance. Nice idea.
So, anyway. I'm back at uni. Applying for work schemes and things. Trying to get shit done. The main thing I'm looking forward to is... going to New York this summer! Maybe other areas too, but we'll see! Very exciting. America is like another world hoho. Pretty much nothing else to add. I'm just keeping on keeping on. Going on a trip to Middlesborough next Saturday though! No idea what that will be like, but still. Nice to get out of Durham.
I hope you're all well. I've been terrible with replying to emails recently but actually I do really appreciate it haha, so feel free. I will endeavour to reply to everything. Another thing I have learned: be there for people. If you suspect someone is sad, spend time with them. They will appreciate it, even if they are not able to let you know at the time.